Dieci Anni
by Makeste
Summary: Gokudera-centric; spoilers for the future arc. At age 14, he still has hope. At age 24, his hopes have turned to failures.


**Disclaimer: **Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is the property of Akira Amano, Shounen Jump, Viz Media and various other people I'm likely forgetting. The point is, I don't own it; I just think Gokudera's pretty.

**Author's Notes: **Contains spoilers for the Future Arc. Also, the character book is hilariously inconsistent on the characters' ages (the profiles list them as 14, while the timeline suggests they're probably 15, and on top of that the bazooka doesn't send them a full ten years forward either), so apologies if the ones I settled on are incorrect. XD

* * *

**Dieci Anni**

* * *

At 14, Gokudera Hayato is still idealistic. To call it optimism would be a stretch—that implies a naiveté that he associates with the baseball freak—but he has dreams and ambitions, and youth enough to believe they will come true. After all, when he's at the Tenth's side, it feels like anything is possible and they'll succeed no matter what. He'll definitely become stronger. He'll definitely become the right-hand man, and he'll definitely overcome any obstacle that dares to cross the Vongola famiglia's path.

At age 14, he still has hope.

* * *

At 24, that idealism is long since gone, weighed down by violence and pain and loss until it was crushed. The hopes that Gokudera had for the future died with the Tenth; all that's left of his dreams are nightmares. The person he dedicated his life to is gone, and the family he swore to protect is dying along with him. They're fighting a war that seems increasingly futile, and the only reason he still continues at all is because giving up would dishonor Tsuna's memory. (And because those responsible for Tsuna's death are still alive, and Gokudera will not allow his boss to go unavenged.)

At age 24, his hopes have turned to failures.

* * *

At 14, Gokudera is as unpredictable and untamed as the storms from which he draws his title. His temper sparks as easily as his dynamite, and can leave just as much damage in its wake. He is brash and impulsive and more than a little reckless, and risks are not yet things he always thinks through. A lifetime of being neglected and overlooked has left him with an unquenchable thirst to prove himself, and so he jumps at every chance, regardless of the danger, determined to show the world that he is worth something.

At 14, he is headstrong and heedless, unrelenting and unstoppable.

* * *

At 24, maturity has caught up with him at last, the brashness of his teenage years gradually stemmed by an increasing measure of self-control. His temper is still as quick as ever, but he is far more adept at keeping it in check when there is work to be done. At some point during the past ten years, he has learned patience—albeit a limited sort—and a composure that has served him remarkably well as the second-in-command of the Vongola family.

At 24, Gokudera is still a little reckless, but there is (was) someone to whom he will always have worth, and the need to prove it no longer overwhelms.

* * *

At 14, he is awkward and graceless both socially and, often, on the battlefield. As hard as Gokudera tries, reliability is a trait that still eludes him from time to time, and his record is more patchy than perfect. He zigs when he should zag, stumbles over himself in his eagerness to serve the Tenth, and has far more close calls than he would like to admit. But each fight he walks away from leaves him stronger, each experience he'd rather not dwell on leaves him wiser, and there is a boundless wealth of potential just waiting to be tapped.

At 14, he is still growing, and "limit" is a term that has no meaning.

* * *

At 24, Gokudera is nothing short of fearsome, a surging force of firepower and strategic precision. He possesses a degree of confidence where his younger self always hesitated, and fights with the practiced ease of someone who has faced odds far worse than this. Challenges no longer overwhelm him—but they don't excite him, either. He no longer returns from every scrape bloodied and bruised, but there is a weariness now that lingers long after the battles are done.

At 24, Gokudera knows his limits all too well.

* * *

At 14, Gokudera adores the Tenth, and tolerates most everyone else. Wariness is an old habit, and the concept of trust is very hard to get used to. That he will protect his famiglia with everything he's got is a given, but the idea that maybe, just maybe, someone will have his back as well is all but foreign to him. Sometimes he's grateful, other times it's frightening, and still other times he doesn't know how to react, period. When the baseball idiot slings an arm around him, it's annoying but also strangely comforting. There are people now who, if he ever allowed himself to, he could almost fall back upon.

At 14, he's starting to realize it's no longer just him alone against the world.

* * *

At 24, he's lost the person most precious to him, and he remembers now the reason he never put his trust in others before. The feeling of loss, of being let down, of letting _others_ down, is unbearable… and yet the alternative is something he no longer thinks he's capable of going back to. For better or worse, family is something he's come to depend upon, something he could never bear to abandon. He is not alone in this, and whatever strength he's still got left, he owes it to them more than anything else.

At 24, he is part of something and they are a part of him.

* * *

At 14, Gokudera Hayato turns onto the Tenth's street, and enters the front gate holding a bag of yatsuhashi. Maybe the timing is coincidence, maybe it's fate; either way, he is standing in just the wrong (right) spot when the bazooka soars out of the window, and ten years pass in an instant and a poof of smoke.

The world he's in is frightening, once he realizes exactly what's at stake. But he believes in the Tenth and he knows he won't fail him. And the thought fills him with surety. There's no way that they'll lose.

At 14, the future is still ahead of him, never set in stone.

* * *

At 24, Gokudera has countless things that he wishes he could say to Tsuna, and only five minutes in which to do so. So he does the only thing he can—he swallows back the grief and regret, and focuses on telling the Tenth the single most important thing of all. The thing that will save his life and end all of this and finally put things right.

And that's all he can do, because the next thing he knows, it's ten years ago and Tenth is gone once more, the future left in his hands and those of Gokudera's younger self. And for the first time in what seems like an eternity, he feels the tiniest flicker of faith once again.

At 24, he still remembers how a boy once saved his life, and he still believes in second chances.


End file.
